Hello Uncle Harry
by BewareOfFlyingMonkeys
Summary: "Why the hell did Rose invite the devil's spawn for the photograph?"       Rated T just to be safe


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

It's my first stab at fanfiction. I'd be obliged if you chose to review. Thanking you. . .

Ps. Thankyou ABC, my partner in crime. And to the Quing.

"Harry! Harry! The photographer is coming in half an hour."

"Yes Hermione. I'm ready, Ginny is ready, and the kids are ready. Where's Ron?

"I think he's off to murder Malfoy."

"The Ferret?"

"No. His son"

"Not that I'm complaining - but why?"

"Rose invited him for the family photo."

"Wait – what?"

"What is it Harry?"

"Why the hell did Rose invite the devil's spawn for the photograph?"

"Well they have been dating for a year already."

"What?"

"Oh dear, didn't you know?"

"Of course not the Malfoy boy would have been long dead."

"I think this is exactly why Rose didn't tell the two of you."

"How can you be so calm about this Hermione?"

"Harry I have work to do. George and Percy haven't even arrived yet and I don't even know where Teddy and Victoire are!."

"Dom, Dom!"

"Yes Uncle Harry?"

"Yes Uncle Harry?"

"Hello Louis, Dom. Dom you've sworn off men haven't you? I always knew you were the smart one in the family."

"I've sworn of men because I like women, Uncle Harry."

"Let us try to forget that. Now you can convince Rosie, Lily, Lucy, Molly and Roxanne to embrace celibacy."

"But I'm not a celibate."

"In my head you are."

"But Rose is dating Malfoy Uncle Harry."

"Et tu Louis!"

"I thought you knew that."

"Harry! Harry!"

"Ron! Have you murdered him yet?"

"He's not here."

"Hey Dad!"

"Albus! Did you know that Rose is dating Malfoy?"

"Uhh...Yes?"

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew."

"Why does everyone assume that?"

"It was very obvious that she liked him. She used to blush like crazy every time his name was mentioned."

"I never mentioned his name – did you Ron?"

"I just called him Malfoy's brat, Devil's spawn or Ferret Jr."

"He's not that bad Uncle Ron."

"Ginny!"

"Yes Harry?"

"Rosie is dating Malfoy."

"Yes – you didn't know."

"Argh!"

"Stop shouting Harry and help Bill clean up the yard."

"Say Ginny, Lily isn't dating anyone is she?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"Good now I hope Dom gets to her."

"What?"

"I told Dom to convince her and the rest of the girl to become celibates."

"Wha – that's so sexist Harry."

"Ginny! Scum like Malfoy are out there to take advantage of them."

"Harry-"

"Stop laughing!"

"Malfoy is a perfectly nice and sweet boy. And Dom is not a celibate – she's a lesbian."

"Let's not go into the unimportant details."

"Go help Bill Harry.

*CRACK*

"Hey Teddy!"

"Hello Uncle Bill."

"Give me a hug Victorie."

"Hi Dad!"

"Uncle Bill, we have something to tell you."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DATING HIM!"

"Stop picking on Scorpius Dad!"

"Mr. Weasley I -"

"HE'S DRACO MALFOY'S SON!"

"I know that! Oh, hello Teddy, Victoire"

"Hello Rose. Why are they shouting?"

"I invited Scorp for the photograph."

"Oh."

"Rose! PAY ATTENTION!

"Stop shouting Dad!"

"Ron! Did you kill him yet?"

"Uncle Harry! I expected you to be reasonable!"

"Did Dom talk to you Rose?"

"Sorry to interrupt – but I have something to say."

"Hello Teddy."

"Hey Uncle Harry."

"I haven't met Dom."

"Too bad. Dom will convince you Rose, that men are scum !"

" Hey !"

" Hey !"

" Hey !"

" Most men. I meant most men. Usually the younger ones"

" Hey !"

" Sorry Teddy."

"Hey !"

" And us Ron."

"Mr Weasley – Rose means a lot to me and I promise to treat her with respect."

"Wow. Scorpius is quite a gentle man."

"Molly! Where did you come from?"

"Hello Uncle Harry, Uncle Ron."

"Hello Uncle Harry, Uncle Ron."

"Hello Lucy."

"Why are you shouting at Malfoy?"

"Because he's dating Rose."

"You found out now?"

"Why does – go talk to Dom."

"Guys, I need to say something."

"Not now Teddy."

"Ron! Harry! Roxanne told me you were threatening Malfoy."

"Tell Roxanne to talk to Dom Hermione."

"You _are_ threatening Malfoy! Why are you boys acting so immature?"

"Victoire and I have something - "

*CRACK*

"Hello George."

" Wotcher Harry ! You can hear the shouting a mile away. What happened ?"

"Hello Uncle Harry, Uncle Ron, Uncle Bill, Teddy, Victorie."

"Hello Fred."

"Hello Fred."

"Hello James."

"James do you know - "

"Rose is dating Scorpius; are you going to kill him?"

"We're planning to."

"Tell me what you guys do in the end. Fred and I have a bet going."

"Include me in. I bet a galleon that your aunt Hermoine is the one who will end up doing any killing that occurs today"

"Sure thing Uncle Gorge"

"Listen Victoire and I have something important to say."

"You can't let old prejudices rule you Ron! And you Harry, I expected better from you."

"Mr Weasley, Mr Potter, I care about Rose very much and - "

"No! Not now Scorp. You can recite your rehearsed speech later."

"Rose!"

"I saw you practicing in front of the mirror Scorp."

"I'M PREGNANT!"

"..."

"..."

"Wait. . . You're pregnant?"

"I mean Victoire. Victoire 's pregnant."

"Victoire?"

"My baby girl!"

" Victoire pregnant!"

"She's pregnant?"

"Who's pregnant?"

"Victoire! Victoire' s pregnant! "

"Sit down Victoire."

"Tell Nana and Grandpa. They are going to be great – grandparents!"

" Victoire 's pregnant !"

"Hello my name is Adrian Birch. I'm here to - "

" Victoire 's pregnant !"

"I'm going to be a grandfather!"

"I'm here as a photographer from - "

"Scorpius – let's run."

"Wait . . .What Rose?"

"Run!"


End file.
